“It is not events that disturb people, it is their judgements concerning them.” – Marcus Aurelius
How often do you find yourself upset with something that someone said? Maybe you’re stressed out over something that’s happened over your life. Maybe it’s just the opposite? And you’re extremely excited over something that’s going on.
Whatever it is, every event that causes some kind of emotion over you is driven by the story you tell yourself. One of the most important aspects of living is understanding our perspective on the events that occur in our lives. Our perspectives influence our thoughts on the events, and those thoughts lead our emotions and how we feel.
It’s not easy to understand the perspective that we have on things. we have all kinds of unconscious thoughts. and we have emotional triggers from our memories from the past. there are also biological stressors that we may not even be aware of. there are alot of things that can influence our thinking, and the more we become aware of them, the easier it is for us to manage how much we let them have control over our lives.
one of the most effective ways we can understand our perspective on events is to pay attention to the stories that we tell ourselves. when an event happens, we experience some kind of external stimulus through our senses. our brain takes in all this data and tries make sense of what’s happening. it does this to try and help us figure out what’s going on and make a prediction of what’s going to happen next.
like most people, i’m love a good story. it’s what we’re drawn to as humans and in every culture, the stories and ideas contained in those stories are the ways we sharecommon ideas and beliefs. it’s why religions are centered aroind powerful stories. it’s the reason why movies, gaming, movies and books are billion dollar industries.
it’s why when we get together with friends, we share stories about what’s happening in our lives. it’s why we’re drawn to certain people. Everything in our lives is a story.
with every story there’s also a backstory, there’s a history that sets the stage. and all of us have a history full of events and memories and emotions that influence how we interpret things. our brains are pattern recognition machines, trying to understand things by pulling from the past and see if matches antthirng that we are currently experiecning. stories tie the past to the present, and the present to the future.
we use stories to try and make sense of the world around us.
unearthing these stories is not an easy process. and when we first listen to our self stories, they’re often unclear, there are often strong emotions involved, and we may find it difficult to be honest with ourselves about how we think or feel about something because it can often mean admitting aspects of ourselves that we may not like to see.
Why bother taking the time to understand the stories we tell ourselves? This is the narrative of our lives. it is the lens through which our mind interpret things. and if you’re not aware of the stories you’re creating, you’re just running on autopilot.
It is a way of understanding why we do the things we do. How did I get here?